I finally articulated why “I’m debating” in so many conversations is bullshit and is so infuriating.
Super privileged people (mostly white rich guys who’ve gone to college) think of everything as a theoretical debate. And they see oppression as this distant theoretical thing wrong with the world. And so when they get report of facts from people who are being oppressed, they don’t notice that they are getting facts, cause it’s not actually real to them, certainly not real enough to affect people they’d bother talking to. But they are FACTS. And these dudes like arguing with them using their opinions.
That’s why “your opinion is not valid” is what we often say. I mean, you can have whatever opinion, but how does that actually matter when I’m telling you facts?
You can’t reasonably “debate” with someone giving you facts. Your opinion means NOTHING when they are using facts.
I am an *expert* on misogyny. And it’s sad I have to put it in those terms for some people to get it. But basically, a man arguing with a woman about misogyny is like arguing with a chemist using your personal made up theories of how chemistry works. It’s infuriating.
Except this is survival. So amplify that frustration x1000 because your ignorance is literally killing me and people like me.